Showing posts with label cat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cat. Show all posts

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Notice


Hello all. For those of you that know me, you are aware that I have a somewhat monotonous job that allows me to get lost in large mansions for hours at a time. During these shifts I'm able to do a lot of thinking. My, let's call them "think attacks" sometimes produce solid gold. More times than not, they produce loads and loads of crap garbage. Today as I mosied about, I had much on my mind and started to compile a list (big on lists lately) that I feel like sharing.

Things I like today


  • sexting

  • open windows (sometimes wanting to jump out of them)

  • whiskey (I like this too much)

  • low expectations

  • privacy

  • bowling

  • patriotic apparel (cus I'm an Amurican)

  • "Where have all the cowboys gone?" by Paula Cole


Things I don't like today



  • Bah! I have nothing! Excellent.

And that sums up my deep thoughts for the day, folks. THHHHAAANNKKS

"if you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing "

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Porch Sittin

Mmm. yessss.. The weather is getting just right now for comfortably reclinin on the ole porche and reading myself a book, or in this case, bloggering. Yesterday afternoon Timber and I took it upon ourselves to embibe a glass of wine and dive into some literary pursuits.

My personal conquest, has been a work in progress....... for the last 3 years! It's a 2097 page beast about the culmination of mankind, our planet, our universe, and beyond. Clearly not light reading. And since Mercury is in retrograde (a revisiting of communication, transportation, education, etc) I decided to revisit The Urantia Papers. I have a plan of finishing this book sometime mid year 2012. My father insisted that I read the entirety of this book before I die (I'm on page 725) so I took his word for it and have been gnawing off huge chunks of it ever since. Heaven help me finish this fucking book someday... Oh HAI Master Universe....
Moreover, another nice addition to our porch sittin has been the adoption of Nature, the cat. Or rather, Nature has adopted us. He is the cutest thing ever. His name tag says "Ranger" but I find that to be a retarded name for a cat. Our roommate, Brian, thought we said his name was "Nature" so there you have it. Nature insists that he lives with us, always running into our house and whatnot. I'm willing to play along for now....

I'm hoping all this wonderful lounging going on outside will inspire some more rhymes. Gotsta be getting on my A-game. I've been feeling a wave of creativity starting to flow over me these past few weeks. VENUS IS BACK MUTHAFUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Apparently I'm on a BJ diet...


I am welcoming the weekend with open arms. The weekend is too good to let it slip by in mediocrity. Last night, I was planning on going to another warehouse party but circumstances would have it that everyone was already too tired or too drunk to make the trek downtown. Good thing too because I myself was feeling a bit tired and unfit to terrorize the Portland population. Those long work weeks seem to really catch up on Friday around 6 p.m.
Sarah and Kathleen lured me out of the house with a trip to Target, however, first having to stop on an errand at a friends' mother's home. (Will not go into detail about that). And then! Target! I was excited because when I had gone there before there were a lot of cute summer items out, I had a gift card, and needed a bathing suit. My excitement turned to horror when I actually realized bathing suit season was actually coming up. Rotten! Kathleen and I both agreed that we need to "pull it in a bit" "tighten it up". Ha. Understatement. I am clearly in love with two men, both Ben and Jerry. BEN AND JERRY'S I CURSE THEE!!!!!! >:0 This is me, the Ice Cream Huntress but "pulled in a bit" and sexy... oh yea and with wings.. and brown hair.

Got out of Target relatively unscathed. I always love looking at the combination of purchases all together. I ended up cashing out with some lime green sunglasses, a pair of banana yellow boy short underwear, a bottle of Andre champagne, and some mascara. I want to wear and have all of them on at once, and nothing else. God I'm glamourous.

Thankfully instead of dragging our asses downtown for the night, the wolfpack gathered itself at Tim and August's lovely abode. Guitars and music equipment can always be found scattered about their habitat. This pleases me because for the last year I've been forcing myself to have the patience to learn more about music. I want to understand what seems so foreign and confusing about it to most people. I've been playing guitar since last April. That seems to be going okay but what really freaks me out is the piano. DUDE so many things lie in those little black and ivory keys. Fucking terrifying. Where to even start? So following my hesitancy I sat down at Tim and August's little keyboard, put on the headphones so I wouldn't subject my friends to the noise, and busted out my rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings". I will not glorify myself, it was the same version of this song that I learned when I was five, taught by someone I don't even remember, and played just as horribly. Finger pecking goodness.
Then August came over and showed me a E on the E major scale. The first, the third, and then fith note. Ah that makes since. I get it. I sat there for ten minutes playing that same chord. Walking up and down in as graceful as possible (not graceful). I looked up at the keyboard above to reference the root of the the G. Fiddled with it just long enough to find the first, the third, and the fith again. Again, I played that chord for 10 minutes. So now, as much as I fear the piano, I'm on my way... Somewhere.
The night continued on with some PBR and Catan. If you guys don't know what Catan is, all I can tell you is that it's a game about colonization, it takes for fucking ever, and it calls for people to constantly be saying, "I need wood", "Someone needs to give me wood", and "I've got some wood". Take note, I'm never actually playing this game. I'm only sitting or lying in the living room giggling to myself in a sea of "that's what she said" jokes. Call me immature but it hasn't gotten old for me yet. Moreover, some folks split off to colonize their bunk ass nations and a couple of us were left in the living room chatting.I took the liberty of pirating some music off of Tim's laptop. He's got a pretty good selection on there. Or atleast, HAD a good selection on there. Ten minutes into my piracy, Tim's estranged cat, Saturn, quite literally pushed a t.v. off the entertainment center in hopes to sabotage both me and the computer! I remain. Tim's computer. Eh, not so much. The screen is fucked. Though it does make a really pretty rainbow mountain looking picture now. Not long after I was sprawling my overly beered body over the couch, sunglasses on to hide my tired eyes. This ofcouse, would not suffice for August and Kathleen who insisted that I needed to be pulled off the couch by my leg and tickled into an oblivion.
"NOT MY SUNGLASSES!" I screamed.
They, being the good friends that they are spared them, but did not back down on their tickle attack. Damn them. I plotted my revenge.
Later as Leen and I lay on the couch, fate would have it that August picked a wrestling battle with everyone in the living room. I was once again abruptly wakened with a pull on my leg. At that point I realized that the other wolves had it under control so I faded back into my nap, but not before whispering the words to Kathleen, "August must suffer". And he did, Ben and Tim had their revenge. Eventually all were wrestled out and had to quit. Thank god. August is an animal with a little bit of courage in him. And yes, he will admit to you that he is an animal and will "rock your world".
And here I am, Saturday morning in all my glory, double fisting mimosa's and cups of coffee. Got my bearded dragon, Crusty Buttons at my side, and we are sharing a banana. I'm looking forward to Push Jones rehearsal cus we have our first performance next week (***&%^$#!!!!) and I will be horseback riding with a couple ladies at 5. You smell that people? It smells like a spectacular Saturday... o no wait.. that's just Timber Jenny's shampoo...