A little something for the kids..

These days pass like tired old work horses
Hallucinating in their sadness, the beasts bear my burden
Climbing steps for smiles only to bear the false fruit of future events
I am caught in limbo. I am bending backwards.

In the passenger seat, a stolen kiss
Airport sadness and a stiff drink to salt the fresh wound
Self medication and deprivation.
but settling for imaginary friends.

An insatiable appetite for satisifaction is being sedated with water and wine.
I am the drunk girl at the wedding and I will not last forever. Come find me.

Photo Cred; Deviantart.com

Twin Flames

I am very much intrigued by the concept of twin souls and have been so for several years now. The overall gist is that long ago as divine wholeness began to seperate for the polar universe experience, single non-gendered souls were split into yin and yang (male and female). The purpose of this was for gaining a full understanding of seperation, as one cannot fully appreciate what it has until it has experienced the opposite. Thus, long ago we made the painful decision to part with our other half and journey through many lifetimes seeking that sacred love we once parted with. If you are not a spiritual person, this concept could be considered silly or asinine. Whatever you believe, I find it to be a beautiful and romantic idea. Syncronicity has lead me to believe that such things are possible and inspire me to continue my own personal growth.

"Before one can physically unite with their Twin Soul, one must do the conscious work of healing and becoming whole within their self. Twin Soul love cannot exist in a codependent, ego-based relationship, or from a perceived "need" that the other person will make you whole. Both must often face separations while they strengthen their own connection to Spirit and find their strength and purpose on their own."

Even if you can't get into Twin Flames and Soul Mates, the artwork inspired by it can be absolutely beautiful.

28 Days Later

The 1
Big Sur

I'm going to California. Bought my plane ticket today. Soon enough I will be balls deep in vacation, cruising down the 1 with my beautiful friend, smoking cigs with Martha, and watching the sunset on the ocean, Red Stripe in hand on Pescadero Road. 4 months have passed since I've been to the Bay Area and I can't take it any longer. I need late night wrestling, bottles of wine, movies til I fall asleep, long hair, the scent of soap, redwoods, road trips, Pescadero burritos, The black beast, bare feet, morning greetings, coffee and cocoa puffs with the kitchen crew, APPLE JACKS (see below), did I mention redwoods, cleaning parties, Coyote Hill, Santa Cruz, and BIG FREAKING SUR! Hopefully I'll be able to fit all of this in 5 days.
Upon my arrival I can be sure of one thing, there will be Red Stripe waiting for me right out of the gate. When the time comes to leave I can be sure of one thing, I will try my hardest not to cry and probably fail miserably. Leaving La Honda has proven to be, emotionally, one of the hardest experiences I've had for awhile for several reasons... 1. I'm never quite sure of when I will be back (it's been averaging every 4 months or so)2. I wonder if my efforts are made in vain. and 3. I know that I probably won't be kissing anyone like that for a very very long time (I consider 4 months a very very long time).
So you may be asking yourself, "what the hell hammerhead? why so vague when referencing your romantic life?" In response I can only say that it has been a very very long road of dissapointments and I would hate to taint this one precious bit of amorous sanity that I have, some how, magically retained with this one person. Whether he knows it or not, I miss the shit out of him every day and can only hope that some time in the future, fate would have our paths cross again (for longer than 4 months out of the year). Until then..........
"We will lie under different stars I am where i am and you're where you are"- Trespassers William