Psycho City- Population, Me.

All evidence points to one clear and definite adjective to describe the Hammerhead.. Psycho.

Yea that's me. Let me explain to you how I've come to this realization. Or actually, allow me to tell you in a haiku because as I laughed/kicked myself the next morning I realized such insanity should only be put back together in poetic form. Otherwise, I fear, it's just too pathetic for words.

Hump Day with the ladies

Four Loko, Whiskey, and all things crazy

Invited to a rap show.

Cute boy, in my opinion.

Forgot to eat dinner, Did not forget to drink more.

Dancing asses off.

A broken bra (from dancing)

Hitting on cute boy hard.

Boy says "I have a girlfriend"

Akward Turtle

Stubborn Hammerhead stumbles out.

Kind of regretting calling him out.

FML.

So what makes most of this so akward is that boy is an employee at my local grocery store. God Damn it..... I'm seeing a pattern here. An announcement for my friends out there - if you see me approaching any more Trader Joe employees knock me out with a two by four before I open my mouth cus I'm thinking my luck isn't running too strong there. THANKS.

Da Bizness

So I wrote half of this a few days ago and the rest today. Considering rapping it or using it for slam poetry sometime. Feedback is encourged. Thanks. So I'm sitting here pondering life in my fist
thinking "there's really no need to get pissed
cus I work everyday and I'm still poor as fuck."
Just a material girl a little down her on luck.
But that got me going down another thought path
You know I'm actually well off if you consider the math...
I've got shoes on my feet, air in my lungs
Live in the land of the free so I can still purchase guns
And what more could you ask for in this day and age?
You can still live like kings and yet be slaves to the wage
But I'll be the first to admit that I don't have it all
Remembering the adage "oh how the mighty do fall"
Live as simple as you can and I'm sure that you'd find
that real value is locked in your heart and your mind.
Not your iphone, your laptop, your high tech contraptions
Though I have my fair share and they are lovely distractions
Just please don't forget that you are here with a purpose
We're all little acts in this huge freak show circus
And we're only as strong as our weakest of links
So we're all going down if this fucking ship sinks...

Tuesday morning 1, Hammerhead 0.

Who knew a Tuesday morning could be so terribly akward. This morning seemed to be going quite well. How very fooled I was by your seemingly pleasant air,Tuesday...

Woke up around 9:30. Got some donuts with Timber (very unexpected unspoken psychic urge between both of us, only realized as I casually mentioned it walking out the door. Timber wanted donuts too and that is NOT a usual thing for either of us). I digress..... We were on our way out to buy some more coffee for our porch sittin session so we headed off to Safeway after Acme Donuts. Once in Safeway I make a beeline for the coffee aisle. I make it 3/4 the way down the aisle before a vision brings me to a halt. Ahh recognition. Standing there checking out the cereal is the boy I bravely gave my number to in Trader Joes last year. I had discontinued my cell phone about a week of not receiving a call from him. Did he ever call? Who knows. (please see FML.com). So I turn back quickly to see if Timber understands the situation at hand. She does not. I turn back trying to pull the tiny bit of normal hair I have left over my eyes. Death Lock Style.

My shab-ass attempt at hiding my identity is thwarted. Mr. TJ notices me, and recognizes me. He says "Hey". I say "Hi". He says "What's going on?" I say "Not much", staring at the coffee selection like I'm trying to burn holes in the cans with my lazer vision. I choose a brand quickly and dart to the end of the aisle to redenvous with Timber. She asks me, "Did you know that guy just said Hi to you?" I say, "Do you know who that guys is!?!?!??!!" I refresh her mind. She laughs heartily. FUUUCK. Made even more akward by the fact that he keeps popping up in the same sections of the store as us, including self-checkout. I thought I was safe in SE seeing as though his Trader Joe's location is in NE. Thank you, Akward Tuesday Morning for reminding me that it's never quite safe to just roll out of bed in the morning and mosey on out into the public....

Did we share a moment?

Today was the last day of Timber's mother and co. visiting so we decided to take them to Saturday Market. It was a beautiful morning really. The sun was out, I woke up without a hangover (usually unheard of on Sundays), and I was feeling real nice about the situation overall. After a rather profound palm reading from the lovely Maria (almost cried), Leen, Timber, and myself decided to grab a huge beer and enjoy some UVs. Everything was peachy until...... Creepy Mark!

It starts like this.... My ladies and I are standing there in the middle of the market and all of a sudden a late 40's early 50ish bloke comes over and stands in our huddle. We look on confused as he introduces himself "Hi. I'm Mark".

All together now, "Hi Mark." Us=Looking. Blinking. Confused.

Mark turns to yours truly, slowly bringing his hand up to cup him man boob and says, "Hey. I'm sorry but did we share a moment back there a few minutes ago?"

Horror. "No. We did not".

Mark seemed suprised. I don't quite know what he might have had in mind for the chemistry between the two of us but it makes me kind of nauseas. Leen made a good point when she said "just because we are of legal drinking age, does not nessecarily make us fair game". Well said. When you resemble the guy below, but your smirk is creepier and your picking up on girls that could be your daughters age at a street fair, there's a good chance we won't be hitting it off. Sowwy.

Why today is so terrifying.

This One.

This is Leen. AKA Pooter. Today she turns 21. She may look like a nice girl. All sugar and spice and everything nice. Like here.....
But under that facade of seemingly girl next door demeanor, there is a rampant and wild she wolf cheetah waiting for that 5th shot of tequila that will unleash the beast. I'm pretty sure she's made out of some viscious desert carnivore, electric fence, and a bit of David Bowie. Look at that smirk. It's saying "Danger! I will break everything and everyone the day I'm allowed into a bar."

Terrifying.

Consider yourself warned Planet Earth.

I don't think we're on the same page.

A little word of advice to the fellas out there, I don't mind friendly conversation at the bar. I don't even mind you rambling my ear off about your band for an hour while I try to watch The Shining in subtitles. But if you ask for my number and I give you my email address, there's a good chance I don't want to meet you for drinks next week. Below is a picture of me after recieving your email today.

Twin Flames

I am very much intrigued by the concept of twin souls and have been so for several years now. The overall gist is that long ago as divine wholeness began to seperate for the polar universe experience, single non-gendered souls were split into yin and yang (male and female). The purpose of this was for gaining a full understanding of seperation, as one cannot fully appreciate what it has until it has experienced the opposite. Thus, long ago we made the painful decision to part with our other half and journey through many lifetimes seeking that sacred love we once parted with. If you are not a spiritual person, this concept could be considered silly or asinine. Whatever you believe, I find it to be a beautiful and romantic idea. Syncronicity has lead me to believe that such things are possible and inspire me to continue my own personal growth.

"Before one can physically unite with their Twin Soul, one must do the conscious work of healing and becoming whole within their self. Twin Soul love cannot exist in a codependent, ego-based relationship, or from a perceived "need" that the other person will make you whole. Both must often face separations while they strengthen their own connection to Spirit and find their strength and purpose on their own."

Even if you can't get into Twin Flames and Soul Mates, the artwork inspired by it can be absolutely beautiful.

Wisdom is knowing when to shup up.

I am an asshole. I don't know if it's the long work days, anxiety, jealousy, who knows. Regardless, I've been a total jerk off to one of the people I care most about. I am passive aggressive, frusterated, and harsh when it comes to situations that I am uncomfortable with. When I am confronted with tension my first reaction is to wait it out. I am still waiting. She is still mad at me. The reason being because somewhere subconsciously I am projecting my own insecurties and frusterations onto my best friend who in reality, probably has enough of her own to deal with. Damn it...How to fix this? Can we look like this again soon, please?