PATRIOTISM!!!!! BEER!!!!! BIKINIS!!!!! CRACK!!

Hey all. How the hell are you today? Are you stoked on life?!?!? On sunshine!?! On crack?!?!MMM??!??!? You know I was going to a go a completely different direction there but ended up googling "on crack" and guess who's lovely face showed. Yes, dearest Amy is at it again. Crimeny I'm glad I'm not a celebrity. Girlfriend's got so many people riding her ass how could she not do crack? There's nothing else left to do! Oh yea, well...... you could maybe go.... to..... rehab..?? mm? Food for thought.

Moving on.

Why this weekend already is blowing my mind: my inner patriot shall roam free by bike, by water, and by foot. Sheer heathenry will be unleashed upon my quaint hometown of Redding, CA. Can you handle the heat Redding!!?!?! Or I guess a better question is, can we Oregon ladies handle Redding's heat? Fucking 106 degrees! Are you serious? I've been turning the fan on when we peak at 80 up here. Jeepers, I'm sweating already just thinking about it. However the outcome, I will be pleased if I can return to the green state looking slightly less pale and slightly more ravaged from an incredible weekend.

There will be....... THIS!!!!!!!!The Sevylor Mesh River Tube 3000! Complete with backrest, 2 Fucking cupholders!, and my personal favorite Snap and Stay feature to be able to hang with friends! I totally just stepped up my 4th of July plans by purchasing this bad boy. And what of Gummy!? Yes Gummy my beloved alligator that got my lovely ass down the Truckee River for a week straight last summer. He's coming too.. If not for anyone's transportation than for my own personal enjoyment and his veteran voyage. Love you Gummy, my man.
What is more, is that rafting the ole sacapatatoes river is happening the day BEFORE the 4th so I can build my patriotic fever all day long saturday with four lokos, and sun, and gummy and then spew it all out (I mean get reallly fucking patriotic on the 4th). What this means : I will be wearing my American flag bikini top and will be quoting famous presidents and Team America all day long. (FUCK YEA!) I will be hanging with the highest concentration of lady sharks since... I don't even know when. We got Hammerhead, Threshies, Angel Shark, Bull Shark, Frilled Shark, and Great White will be out there driftin on Shasta Lake. Things might erupt... Like Mt. Shasta cus it's so close and all.
Adding to the madness will be my cousin Eden. Thank god. She is fanastic. We've barely been together since the days she used to pinch me and tell me I was the boy when we would play house, but hey, I like her attitude. Girl gives off some shark vibes. I'll let you know about that one... And my broja! And his new girlfriend. This should be fantastic.

To summarize this lump of crap garbage I've just barfed all over you, I'm going to Redding this weekend with my girls. We're gonna raft down the river, bike to the bars, watch some fireworks, and probably attack things. You've been warned Dirty 530.

Everything is okay in Big Sur.

Nostalgia struck me hard today, rolled in like clouds and rained on my parade. Sitting on a hardwood floor thumbing through artwork, I was taken back to Big Sur. For those who know this place, know ecstasy. I am back on my mountain with all of my friends watching the sunset where the west coast comes to an end. On top of the world above the cloudline, feeling your soul sink into the sublime. I miss this home, I miss the dirt that cakes onto your hands, sleeping bag, and your shirt. That is, if you're wearing one...because most often than not you'll be throwing off clothes once you get to the top. I can still smell the whiskey on our breath, feel the wind in my dreads from riding on the top of the beast, and the stab of hitch hikers in my bare feet. Goddess parties, topless in the trees, crying, laughing, drunk on eachother's company. Dancing on the roof, Red Stripes and cigars for breakfast, beer showers, and sunburns. It's all there. It's just me that's not. When I die, throw me off a cliff in Big Sur to rot.

Returning to PDX *Kicking and Screaming*

Life is cruel. Yesterday was easy to lose my sadness in a blur of whiskey and tequila starting early at 11:00 while waiting to depart from the Oakland Airport. This morning I woke to the harsh reality that I wasn't next to him and all I had was his sweatshirt lying in bed there next to me. Plus the hang over.
The ride to the airport could have been just another roadtrip. Cracking jokes and laughing hysterically at all of our ridiculousness. It hit me as he pulled my bag out of the back of his truck and kissed me goodbye. Shit. This dream is over. As I walked through security stupid little tears fell down my cheeks and I tried my best to wipe them away as quickly as they surfaced. I don't know when I'll be seeing him next. Life is cruel.
I guess from that last tidbit you can safely assume that my trip went well. It was actually fabulous. I laughed harder and smiled more than I have in a long time. We can be in the car for hours together just conversing and singing our favorite songs at the top of our lungs. All of this just reaffirming how butt fucking head over heels I am for this person. In the short time I was in California I was able to accomplish almost all that I had planned on: La Honda, Santa Cruz, Big Sur, putting my cards down on the table, visiting old friends, firming up some plans, etc. I even made it down to Morro Bay which was a pleasant suprise. Big Sur welcomed us home like a good friend as usual. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and I even got a tan(SO WELCOME!). Santa Cruz was phenomenal as well. Great White and company gave us quite a show on Friday night with Maker's Mark, lap dances, and the usual madness. Thanks to all who came out to say hi. How I've missed you all.
Here's some photographic evidence of my travels. *side note* There is no photographic evidence of Santa Cruz because 1. I wasn't able to operate a camera and 2. we could probably get arrested for posting images like that.
Flying into the bay The 1. I highly suggest driving it. Big Sur Pee Spot. Great spot on the side of the road. If you can find it, you're a lucky person. Blue Jay at the Pee Spot. I'm considering selling this photo to National Geographic... Right before I was ambushed by 50 seagulls in Morro Bay. Word to the wise.... Don't throw muffin crumbs in the air here..... sigh..... Our family stomping ground in Big Sur
And now here I am. Right where I left me.