Notice

Hello all. For those of you that know me, you are aware that I have a somewhat monotonous job that allows me to get lost in large mansions for hours at a time. During these shifts I'm able to do a lot of thinking. My, let's call them "think attacks" sometimes produce solid gold. More times than not, they produce loads and loads of crap garbage. Today as I mosied about, I had much on my mind and started to compile a list (big on lists lately) that I feel like sharing.

Things I like today

• sexting


• open windows (sometimes wanting to jump out of them)


• whiskey (I like this too much)


• low expectations


• privacy


• bowling


• patriotic apparel (cus I'm an Amurican)


• "Where have all the cowboys gone?" by Paula Cole

Things I don't like today

• Bah! I have nothing! Excellent.

And that sums up my deep thoughts for the day, folks. THHHHAAANNKKS

"if you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing "

Boys in the Makeup Hood.

This blog is for all the fellas out there who wake up in the morning, get in the shower, brush their, teeth, and then decide that it's a good day to throw on some eyeliner. Yes, those silly boys. As initially turned off I am by this act, I can't help but hoping that maybe someday Glamour Boy might take advantage of me in the throws of some strange and surreal fantasy. Not just any boy in lipstick though. I have my few candidates that I have secretly (or not so secretly) swooned over since the tender age of 10. Case and point Jay Gordon.

If you didn't know, Jay is the lead singer of Orgy. I used to run home from the bus stop every day in elementry school when Blue Monday was on TRL. Just to see his lovely ass glamoring away on the ole boob tube. For the record, Jay you still get me hott in your plastic outfits and fucked up hair dos.

Up next Ville Valo, lead singer of HIM Okay, I'm gonna have to really hand this one over to my sister. She was the original bleeding heart for Valo. I mean, technically I only knew of his existence because of her die hard commitment to listening to their records on repeat (My personal favorite being Razorblade Romance). Regardless of his serious as shit lyrics, the Villmeister can be quite a queen (see Join Me In Death video) leaving me wondering if it's boys he might really be wanting to cut himself with. Yea, bust out your sharp edges people, cus this guy will only have you if you're willing to bleed on an alter of roses and poisonous beverages. Seeing as though that's really not my scene anymore (Jade, I don't think it's yours either) we can sit back and admire from a far, all the while rocking out to Sweet 666 and enjoying UV, flowers, and not dying. P.S Just googled "Boys in makeup" and guess who was the first to pop up. LMAO you slay me Valo.

And at last, a more recent fabulous crush would be Elijah Blue (Or if he had his way Phillips Exeter Blue) of Deadsy and, strikingly enough of Cher. Yes, Cher's baby grew up to be kind of a Baldwin in a weird and sparkley kind of way.

Anywho, I ended up really loving this band, Deadsy. One because their music is kind of awesome (an aquired taste, however), two cus they have this pretty interesting theme going on (see visual appearance on the wiki page), and three because most of their songs reference a dear book and idealogy of mine, Urantia. Even if the book is total crap (obviously not my view) I still think it's awesome that he writes fantastic songs about it. Reading is sexy Blue. Reading is totttallly sexy. Here, I'll leave you with a little video of Deadsy's, because most likely, you've never fucking heard of them.

And to end it right, I wanted to mention a few runners up because they are also, fabulous glitzy glam rock boys.

Marilyn Manson- inspired me to wear heart shaped glasses for a year. God his girlfriend's hott too. Brian Molko of Placebo- Apparently he has a kid? I'm not convinced, but you're hott to me in a creepy way so Ima gonna let that one slide B. Tim Curry at all times. He is sexual, creepy and violent. Kinda turns me on a little bit. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Look what I found!!!! Brian Molko givin Ville Valo a little smoochy smooch. That's fine by me boys but good luck explaining this to your son, Molko.

Regarding our origins

Here's a little blurb I wrote the other day after reading the Urantia Papers for a few hours in the sections titled "First Human Family" and "Evolution Overcontrol". I wrote this small ryhme to basically sum up the chapters.

You see it all starts with a sea sponge inhabiting the shoreline

Representing the borderline between animal and vegetable

It's contestable to say that life matter came from cosmic splatter

left uninvested by superior planning.

Our stab in the dark planet, that was meant to be Satanic

made quite a name for itself in years to come

Apes got some will, made weapons to kill,

and a pair of twins left home pretty young

At this point it's all about breeding,

interweaving of genetic lines till you're able to find

a proper mate with desireable traits so we can fuse, body, spirit, and mind.

So that's the synopsis of those chapters. Hmm...History.. Hmm..

Tuesday morning 1, Hammerhead 0.

Who knew a Tuesday morning could be so terribly akward. This morning seemed to be going quite well. How very fooled I was by your seemingly pleasant air,Tuesday...

Woke up around 9:30. Got some donuts with Timber (very unexpected unspoken psychic urge between both of us, only realized as I casually mentioned it walking out the door. Timber wanted donuts too and that is NOT a usual thing for either of us). I digress..... We were on our way out to buy some more coffee for our porch sittin session so we headed off to Safeway after Acme Donuts. Once in Safeway I make a beeline for the coffee aisle. I make it 3/4 the way down the aisle before a vision brings me to a halt. Ahh recognition. Standing there checking out the cereal is the boy I bravely gave my number to in Trader Joes last year. I had discontinued my cell phone about a week of not receiving a call from him. Did he ever call? Who knows. (please see FML.com). So I turn back quickly to see if Timber understands the situation at hand. She does not. I turn back trying to pull the tiny bit of normal hair I have left over my eyes. Death Lock Style.

My shab-ass attempt at hiding my identity is thwarted. Mr. TJ notices me, and recognizes me. He says "Hey". I say "Hi". He says "What's going on?" I say "Not much", staring at the coffee selection like I'm trying to burn holes in the cans with my lazer vision. I choose a brand quickly and dart to the end of the aisle to redenvous with Timber. She asks me, "Did you know that guy just said Hi to you?" I say, "Do you know who that guys is!?!?!??!!" I refresh her mind. She laughs heartily. FUUUCK. Made even more akward by the fact that he keeps popping up in the same sections of the store as us, including self-checkout. I thought I was safe in SE seeing as though his Trader Joe's location is in NE. Thank you, Akward Tuesday Morning for reminding me that it's never quite safe to just roll out of bed in the morning and mosey on out into the public....

I use the word "artist" loosely.

I am stepping down from EVER using oil paints. Before, when I had time and then will to try, I produced a few gems with oils. But now, now my oil paintings are started and then sit there for months on end begging to be finished. I just can't do it anymore captain!

Today I was feeling an artistic buzz. I picked up my guitar and learned "Transatlanticism", I wrote a few rhyming verses, I even started blogging. But then, I had to go and try to paint. This painting that has been unfinished in my room for months is now FUCKING HORRID because I got a wild hair up my ass and had to do something to it. After putting in a few strokes I thought, "Wow. Oil painting is just not for me anymore. But shit.... I have all this fricken oil paint... Maybe I should just throw all of it on this canvas at the same time and be done with it all." (Insert crazy evil laugh here).

So I did that and I feel worse than I felt before about just leaving it there. Holy crap. I don't think people are going to know whether I was painting or puking... Oh well.. Cover it up with more paint in a month or so I suppose.. Now it's into the shower so I can meet my ladies at the Clinton Street Pub and forget about the abomination sitting in my bedroom.

Did we share a moment?

Today was the last day of Timber's mother and co. visiting so we decided to take them to Saturday Market. It was a beautiful morning really. The sun was out, I woke up without a hangover (usually unheard of on Sundays), and I was feeling real nice about the situation overall. After a rather profound palm reading from the lovely Maria (almost cried), Leen, Timber, and myself decided to grab a huge beer and enjoy some UVs. Everything was peachy until...... Creepy Mark!

It starts like this.... My ladies and I are standing there in the middle of the market and all of a sudden a late 40's early 50ish bloke comes over and stands in our huddle. We look on confused as he introduces himself "Hi. I'm Mark".

All together now, "Hi Mark." Us=Looking. Blinking. Confused.

Mark turns to yours truly, slowly bringing his hand up to cup him man boob and says, "Hey. I'm sorry but did we share a moment back there a few minutes ago?"

Horror. "No. We did not".

Mark seemed suprised. I don't quite know what he might have had in mind for the chemistry between the two of us but it makes me kind of nauseas. Leen made a good point when she said "just because we are of legal drinking age, does not nessecarily make us fair game". Well said. When you resemble the guy below, but your smirk is creepier and your picking up on girls that could be your daughters age at a street fair, there's a good chance we won't be hitting it off. Sowwy.

I'm suffocating!

I can't breathe and it's really starting to scare me. For the past couple of weeks I've stopped smoking cigarettes and I'm just beginning to realize the amount of lung compacity that has been compromised. Or is it the volcanic ash form Iceland drifting over this way? Another theory is that it's anxiety. If so, I need to get a hold of myself real quick. All I know is that I couldn't sleep last night because my lungs kept forgetting to breathe and when my body would remember again the initial shock would wake me up from my already shallow rest. Respiration is an autonomic system damn it! I shouldn't have to think about breathing. What a chore.

Image Cred- xCaitx on Deviantart.com

You're welcome in advance..

Because my friends have left me for spring break, I've decided to catch up on those movies that I want to see but never rent because I am either too lazy, embarrassed, or broke to do so. My picks for this week were Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, New Moon of the Twilight Saga, and This Is It about Michael Jackson's last tour. I was filled with so much commentary I figured I better share some of it with you.

First and foremost ALICE AND WONDERLAND.
My Thoughts: Lovely to look at (costumes, CGI, cast), engaging and dynamic plot, a bit short, and strange sexual tension between the Mad Hatter and Alice. This was the first movie I've ever seen in 3D and after the initial disorientation, was much appreciated for the journey into Wonderland (Underland?) I suggest going to see this movie if you have no other plans.

Next Up NEW MOON. Ugh Bleah. Gag me with a fucking spoon. This movie is even shittier than the first. Okay, yea I understand why A TON of people are into this saga. It's filmed pretty well and the folks are hot but I will say this once again, these qualities CANNOT save your whole movie. For one, I don't believe that Bella and Edward love eachother because...(exhibit A. They have shown no qualities of a healthy relationship together since the dawn of Twilight. Where is the laughing? The occasional date night? THE APPRECIATION OF BEING INDEPENDANT HUMAN BEINGS?!?!?) (exhibit B. Bella is so frickin whiney and waifish, who could love her?)(exhibit C. No chemistry what so ever. Watching them kiss is painful. It's like they're both sucking on a raw slab of beef).

More reasons why this movie sucks...... too much heavy breathing.no jokes (they're situation is ridiculous, they could really use some comedic relief every now and then). Kristen Stewart makes this face for the length of the whole movie. Lastly, the dialogue is waay to serious for me to keep a straight face. You're not fooling me, Twilight.

THIS IS IT ENCORE!!! ENCORE!!!!!!!! O wait.. Shit. That's not quite possible is it. (too soon?) This film was basically just rehearsal footage from Michael's final tour and DAMN did he have his shit together. He basically pulled together some of the most talented dancers, techs, and musicians to create a... I don't even think you could call it a show. A SPECTACULAR! Yes that's it! A SPECTACULAR!I'm talking some serious pyrotechnics. Needless to say, I'm very sad Michael has left us because he was a GENIOUS musician and artist and had some serious vision. If you have any appreciation for live performances, check this one out.... even though.. it's not really live anymore is it?

Tuck and Roll Grandma.

7 more days now until I will be back in the bay. Hmph. I feel like there is so much going on and yet I feel devoid of any real motivation. Today is humpday. Today is also my day off, so I should be completing the chores that have stocked up over the past few days (and by days I mean weeks). BUT low and behold, here I am wading in a pile of mismatched socks and underwear.

Woke up early this morning to ride River. We decided to stick with some arena work today seeing as though last time I got thrown off on trail. It wasn't too bad. A duck jetted out from the undergrowth and River, being a young spritely thing shit himself and freaked. I nearly stayed on but once he realized there was a strange creature now clinging to his side, he spooked more and I was thrown to the ground. Tuck and Roll Grandma! (best advice ever) I was very lucky, however, to not get kicked as he reared away. Poor guy. He just stood there afterwards waiting for me with a look on his face like "wha happend?" I got up relatively unharmed. Just some sore ribs and a bloody finger nail. Best thing to do in situations like that is get back up and start riding. As days passed a solid bruise has formed on my forearm. Lovely.

Push Jones will be having 2 performances this week (excited arms shaking in the air). I'm most excited about the one that will be happening this Saturday in Hood River after the Fashionation fashion show. We will be dancing at the after party in some club. I hear the night life in Hood River is pretty happenin though so I better wear my big girl undies for that one. That's right. I'm also casually considering sneaking in a flask of whiskey because I have a cute flask that doesn't get near enough use and because I'm cheap. Suddenly I am overwhelmed with the urge to sit at home and drink whiskey in granny panties... weird.
Aside from that La Honda is within my grasp. Having some odd feelings about that right now though. Hopefully it is a passing mood. Currently I am trying not to acknowledge them in hopes that they will go away. I'll keep you informed as anticipation builds.

And yet another digression. I have been dreaming quite vividly again recently and a lot of them usually involve work. This makes me feel strange. I spend all day working, can't I have my dreams to be able to let go and rest! Waaahnee! FML.