My new favorite hobby

To follow up on that last blog, my dear internets, I want to share with you something that has become very dear to my heart.

Sexy texting. YESSS We've got to have more sexts! I want them. Now! NOW DAMNIT.

Whoaskies. Okay sorry. But this has become an activity to really get you through that boring work day. Am I wrong? I mean to be completely honest, I'm a sexting tease (see horrible sexter). I apologize to those of you out there who asked to see a picture of a certain feline and recieved a picture of this

Though I will say what I lack in sexiness I make up for in creativity. And seeing as though I'm a conservative kind of girl (questioning this statement but gonna rock it anyways) I like to sext with those in a light hearted manner. I don't really want to hear about your raging semi but please do go ahead and tell me what kind of Furry animal you would be. That game is fun.
Talk about counter culture. I think I'd be a squirrel....

Disclaimer: As of yet my sexy texts are rated PG and are sent to trusted and reliable friends. I do not condone going spread eagle on your mobile device and sending it to your latest boyfriend. You are setting yourself up for EPIC FAILURE!

ALSO! If sexy texting aint cho thang, the other day I dreamed up a brilliant little nugget. Unsexy texting! Probably just as thrilling and could be slightly less intimidating. Food for unsexy thoughts: "Hey boo, I'm taking a crap and thinking of you". "Damn gurl, this jock itch got me down. fuuuck" Just a few to get you started.

Anyone wanna sexy/unsexy text? I'm kind of bored.

Breakfast Remix

Hey all. Feeling slightly under the weather today due to last night's Carlo Rossi binge with my ladies. After revisiting my breakfast, I felt inspired to blog about much nicer things like some of my favorite Portland establishments and vendors. So here we go.

Vendors

Antic- Why is he sooooo cool? Antic is a locally based artist who pretty much pops out little gems on American Apparel shirts. Fucking golden. He's got a store in NE PDX as well as a booth at the Saturday Market. Recently he's been printing his designs on these fantastic underwears from Seattle. I want them. Anywho, if you're interested you can check his website out at http://www.anticink.com/. Not only does he have Premades available but will also do custom (CUSTTTOOOMM!!**$$$##$$!!) prints on whatever you fucking want. He's pretty easy on the eyes too, if I do say so myself.

Next up.

Courtney is a Seahorse- Effing love her. The first time I found her booth at the Saturday Market I walked by and had to pull a double take. So much rainbow bursting with feathers and gem stones. Basically everything I could ever want in a fashion designer. It's incredible really, how she takes really subtle earthy tones and throws some iridescence on that shit and POW! a masterpiece. I'm having a hard time getting over my new feather hair thing from her. And plus, she seems to be a really cool girl. Anywho, I applaud her efforts because her booth's got me coming back for more. I demand that you visit her website http://www.courtneyisaseahorse.com/

Note! Courtney also does clothes and hair pins. *flutter*

Restaurants

Jam on Hawthorne- So bomb. This establishment is cool and everyone knows it so you're going to have to wait outside. But it's cool cus there's coffee out there and hopefully some sunshines. The real kicker is once you get in, their breakfast cocktail selection is pure magic. So many kinds of mamosas and bloody marys, you'll spend most of your time looking at this part of the menu. Whatever you order food wise, will probably be quality as well. Overall, shit is worth the wait.

The Doug Fir- Reasons why I like this place- the food is pretty damn good, the prices are reasonable, there is always good music downstairs, and the wait staff is pretty attractive. Oh, and their water is good which sounds stupid but trust me. It's better than other water. I also have a soft place in my heart for the Doug Fir because it was here that I snuck in underage to a Subtle show and got to meet the very sexy and very kind, Dose One. *sigh* Only draw back to this place is the seemingly blank men standing at the door checkng ids. They don't have a sense of humor, and that's not their fault I guess.

So I had every intention of commenting on some of my favorite Stumptown bars earlier but it's come to my attention that this blog is starting to resemble a novel (blovel if you will) and that just won't do. Plus, breakfast remix has really slowed me down quite a bit and has got me slightly less inspired to talk about alcohol. So fair thee well as I try to shake off this feeling because honestly, right now I feel like a bag of dicks. THANKS!

Procrastination Station

Hump Day! My day of freedom in the middle of the week where I get to choose what I do and when I will do it. Today could go one of two ways. Scenario numba 1 involves me tackling the huge pile of laundry that has been patiently waiting at the foot of my bed to be put away OR Scenario numba 2 where I attempt to get things done and actually end up following my artistic pursuits and musical wanderings as I navigate around my laundry.

So far the laundry pile is slowly diminishing but it's so hard to get motivated when it takes physical force to hang things in my closet. I have way too many clothes. DAMN YOU FASHION!!!!!! I love you still... My drawers are screaming too. Do I even wear all of these pants? I don't think so.

Currently I am listening to Bon Iver's album For Emma, Forever Ago

You MUST check out this album. I'm not really one for listening to shit on repeat but I will listen to this album on repeat ANY TIME. It's that good. And it harbours a lot of summer memories for me so I guess I have a lot of emotional attachment to this one. Whatever, just listen.

Like I said, I have some artistic pursuits that are calling me. I literally wake up in the morning and this painting is in my face, scowling at me for the lack of love. I guess it's a bit reminescent of summer as well. I'm actually pretty sure the above mentioned album inspired it but I can't bring myself to finish it yet. Bottom line, I need to start painting again. Will today allow it? Perhaps if I stop bloggering.

Tuck and Roll Grandma.

7 more days now until I will be back in the bay. Hmph. I feel like there is so much going on and yet I feel devoid of any real motivation. Today is humpday. Today is also my day off, so I should be completing the chores that have stocked up over the past few days (and by days I mean weeks). BUT low and behold, here I am wading in a pile of mismatched socks and underwear.

Woke up early this morning to ride River. We decided to stick with some arena work today seeing as though last time I got thrown off on trail. It wasn't too bad. A duck jetted out from the undergrowth and River, being a young spritely thing shit himself and freaked. I nearly stayed on but once he realized there was a strange creature now clinging to his side, he spooked more and I was thrown to the ground. Tuck and Roll Grandma! (best advice ever) I was very lucky, however, to not get kicked as he reared away. Poor guy. He just stood there afterwards waiting for me with a look on his face like "wha happend?" I got up relatively unharmed. Just some sore ribs and a bloody finger nail. Best thing to do in situations like that is get back up and start riding. As days passed a solid bruise has formed on my forearm. Lovely.

Push Jones will be having 2 performances this week (excited arms shaking in the air). I'm most excited about the one that will be happening this Saturday in Hood River after the Fashionation fashion show. We will be dancing at the after party in some club. I hear the night life in Hood River is pretty happenin though so I better wear my big girl undies for that one. That's right. I'm also casually considering sneaking in a flask of whiskey because I have a cute flask that doesn't get near enough use and because I'm cheap. Suddenly I am overwhelmed with the urge to sit at home and drink whiskey in granny panties... weird.
Aside from that La Honda is within my grasp. Having some odd feelings about that right now though. Hopefully it is a passing mood. Currently I am trying not to acknowledge them in hopes that they will go away. I'll keep you informed as anticipation builds.

And yet another digression. I have been dreaming quite vividly again recently and a lot of them usually involve work. This makes me feel strange. I spend all day working, can't I have my dreams to be able to let go and rest! Waaahnee! FML.

Apparently I'm on a BJ diet...

I am welcoming the weekend with open arms. The weekend is too good to let it slip by in mediocrity. Last night, I was planning on going to another warehouse party but circumstances would have it that everyone was already too tired or too drunk to make the trek downtown. Good thing too because I myself was feeling a bit tired and unfit to terrorize the Portland population. Those long work weeks seem to really catch up on Friday around 6 p.m.
Sarah and Kathleen lured me out of the house with a trip to Target, however, first having to stop on an errand at a friends' mother's home. (Will not go into detail about that). And then! Target! I was excited because when I had gone there before there were a lot of cute summer items out, I had a gift card, and needed a bathing suit. My excitement turned to horror when I actually realized bathing suit season was actually coming up. Rotten! Kathleen and I both agreed that we need to "pull it in a bit" "tighten it up". Ha. Understatement. I am clearly in love with two men, both Ben and Jerry. BEN AND JERRY'S I CURSE THEE!!!!!! >:0 This is me, the Ice Cream Huntress but "pulled in a bit" and sexy... oh yea and with wings.. and brown hair.

Got out of Target relatively unscathed. I always love looking at the combination of purchases all together. I ended up cashing out with some lime green sunglasses, a pair of banana yellow boy short underwear, a bottle of Andre champagne, and some mascara. I want to wear and have all of them on at once, and nothing else. God I'm glamourous.

Thankfully instead of dragging our asses downtown for the night, the wolfpack gathered itself at Tim and August's lovely abode. Guitars and music equipment can always be found scattered about their habitat. This pleases me because for the last year I've been forcing myself to have the patience to learn more about music. I want to understand what seems so foreign and confusing about it to most people. I've been playing guitar since last April. That seems to be going okay but what really freaks me out is the piano. DUDE so many things lie in those little black and ivory keys. Fucking terrifying. Where to even start? So following my hesitancy I sat down at Tim and August's little keyboard, put on the headphones so I wouldn't subject my friends to the noise, and busted out my rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings". I will not glorify myself, it was the same version of this song that I learned when I was five, taught by someone I don't even remember, and played just as horribly. Finger pecking goodness.
Then August came over and showed me a E on the E major scale. The first, the third, and then fith note. Ah that makes since. I get it. I sat there for ten minutes playing that same chord. Walking up and down in as graceful as possible (not graceful). I looked up at the keyboard above to reference the root of the the G. Fiddled with it just long enough to find the first, the third, and the fith again. Again, I played that chord for 10 minutes. So now, as much as I fear the piano, I'm on my way... Somewhere.
The night continued on with some PBR and Catan. If you guys don't know what Catan is, all I can tell you is that it's a game about colonization, it takes for fucking ever, and it calls for people to constantly be saying, "I need wood", "Someone needs to give me wood", and "I've got some wood". Take note, I'm never actually playing this game. I'm only sitting or lying in the living room giggling to myself in a sea of "that's what she said" jokes. Call me immature but it hasn't gotten old for me yet. Moreover, some folks split off to colonize their bunk ass nations and a couple of us were left in the living room chatting.I took the liberty of pirating some music off of Tim's laptop. He's got a pretty good selection on there. Or atleast, HAD a good selection on there. Ten minutes into my piracy, Tim's estranged cat, Saturn, quite literally pushed a t.v. off the entertainment center in hopes to sabotage both me and the computer! I remain. Tim's computer. Eh, not so much. The screen is fucked. Though it does make a really pretty rainbow mountain looking picture now. Not long after I was sprawling my overly beered body over the couch, sunglasses on to hide my tired eyes. This ofcouse, would not suffice for August and Kathleen who insisted that I needed to be pulled off the couch by my leg and tickled into an oblivion.
"NOT MY SUNGLASSES!" I screamed.
They, being the good friends that they are spared them, but did not back down on their tickle attack. Damn them. I plotted my revenge.
Later as Leen and I lay on the couch, fate would have it that August picked a wrestling battle with everyone in the living room. I was once again abruptly wakened with a pull on my leg. At that point I realized that the other wolves had it under control so I faded back into my nap, but not before whispering the words to Kathleen, "August must suffer". And he did, Ben and Tim had their revenge. Eventually all were wrestled out and had to quit. Thank god. August is an animal with a little bit of courage in him. And yes, he will admit to you that he is an animal and will "rock your world".
And here I am, Saturday morning in all my glory, double fisting mimosa's and cups of coffee. Got my bearded dragon, Crusty Buttons at my side, and we are sharing a banana. I'm looking forward to Push Jones rehearsal cus we have our first performance next week (***&%^$#!!!!) and I will be horseback riding with a couple ladies at 5. You smell that people? It smells like a spectacular Saturday... o no wait.. that's just Timber Jenny's shampoo...