Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I'm sorry, I stepped out for cigarette.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
I'm Alive! Hallelujah!!!
Okay, bad joke. But seriously... It's kinda like that. But it goes more like
Thesis (black) combatted with antithesis(white)= gray (a mix of the same shit that didn't work before. Think outside the crayon box for a change?
DON'T LOSE HOPE THOUGH, BEAUTIFULS! HELP IS ON THE WAY!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Psycho City- Population, Me.
Yea that's me. Let me explain to you how I've come to this realization. Or actually, allow me to tell you in a haiku because as I laughed/kicked myself the next morning I realized such insanity should only be put back together in poetic form. Otherwise, I fear, it's just too pathetic for words.
Hump Day with the ladies
Four Loko, Whiskey, and all things crazy
Invited to a rap show.
Cute boy, in my opinion.
Forgot to eat dinner, Did not forget to drink more.
Dancing asses off.
A broken bra (from dancing)
Hitting on cute boy hard.
Boy says "I have a girlfriend"
Akward Turtle
Stubborn Hammerhead stumbles out.
Kind of regretting calling him out.
FML.
So what makes most of this so akward is that boy is an employee at my local grocery store. God Damn it..... I'm seeing a pattern here. An announcement for my friends out there - if you see me approaching any more Trader Joe employees knock me out with a two by four before I open my mouth cus I'm thinking my luck isn't running too strong there. THANKS.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
PATRIOTISM!!!!! BEER!!!!! BIKINIS!!!!! CRACK!!
What is more, is that rafting the ole sacapatatoes river is happening the day BEFORE the 4th so I can build my patriotic fever all day long saturday with four lokos, and sun, and gummy and then spew it all out (I mean get reallly fucking patriotic on the 4th). What this means : I will be wearing my American flag bikini top and will be quoting famous presidents and Team America all day long. (FUCK YEA!) I will be hanging with the highest concentration of lady sharks since... I don't even know when. We got Hammerhead, Threshies, Angel Shark, Bull Shark, Frilled Shark, and Great White will be out there driftin on Shasta Lake. Things might erupt... Like Mt. Shasta cus it's so close and all.
Adding to the madness will be my cousin Eden. Thank god. She is fanastic. We've barely been together since the days she used to pinch me and tell me I was the boy when we would play house, but hey, I like her attitude. Girl gives off some shark vibes. I'll let you know about that one... And my broja! And his new girlfriend. This should be fantastic.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
My new favorite hobby
Whoaskies. Okay sorry. But this has become an activity to really get you through that boring work day. Am I wrong? I mean to be completely honest, I'm a sexting tease (see horrible sexter). I apologize to those of you out there who asked to see a picture of a certain feline and recieved a picture of this
Though I will say what I lack in sexiness I make up for in creativity. And seeing as though I'm a conservative kind of girl (questioning this statement but gonna rock it anyways) I like to sext with those in a light hearted manner. I don't really want to hear about your raging semi but please do go ahead and tell me what kind of Furry animal you would be. That game is fun.
Talk about counter culture. I think I'd be a squirrel....
Disclaimer: As of yet my sexy texts are rated PG and are sent to trusted and reliable friends. I do not condone going spread eagle on your mobile device and sending it to your latest boyfriend. You are setting yourself up for EPIC FAILURE!
Notice
Things I like today
- sexting
- open windows (sometimes wanting to jump out of them)
- whiskey (I like this too much)
- low expectations
- privacy
- bowling
- patriotic apparel (cus I'm an Amurican)
- "Where have all the cowboys gone?" by Paula Cole
Things I don't like today
- Bah! I have nothing! Excellent.
And that sums up my deep thoughts for the day, folks. THHHHAAANNKKS
"if you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing "
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Apparently it's Shark Week
A much feared and precious creature has come into her sharking skin. Kathleen (whom I've warned you of before) has settled into her dorsal fin and multiple layers of flesh shredding teeth. She is Bull Shark. Wikipedia reads, "The bull shark is well known for its unpredictable, often aggressive behavior. Since bull sharks often dwell in shallow waters, they may be more dangerous to humans than any other species of shark,[1] and, along with tiger sharks and great white sharks, are among the three shark species most likely to attack humans.[2]".
Fucking. terrifying.In regards to the others, our fair friend Jenna is cruising the soft shore line these days as well. Her alias is yet to be determined due to the fact that her attack style and pattern is still quite an enigma. I'll keep you posted on this one.
So far we've decieded that "mega mouth" doesn't have the right ring to it. Though it is hilarious in context and look how damn cute this thing is.
Now you might be asking yourself, "what of the other sharks?" Ha! Well. I'm glad you asked. Great White Eversole has shark attacked in Santa Cruz, CA and is still.... wait... what... still attacking the same prey!??!?! What is this? How does this man have any limbs left?! I haven't seen it myself but I've heard there's carnage. Wow. I'm looking forward to meeting this brave man 4th of July weekend.
And Thresher.. don't even get me started. HAHAH awesome. I wanted to type "started" but started typing "shark" and it came out "sharted". LMAO okay sorry I digress.....Thresher is a holy heathen and has taken on the responsibility of terrorizing San Diego, CA for the week. Sorry there was no warning San Diego, but the damage has been done. Or so I hear through a wall of text messages I have recieved giving me play by play details. Thanks Threshies. I love to live vicariously through you. haha. sad.
Why is hammerhead sad? Because hammerhead got drunk on wednesday and attacked a piece of meat that smelled like Patchoulli. Waahhhhhh. Wish I remember what he looked like cus Mr. Born 5 Decades too late want's to take me out to get some hummus. HUMMMUS!!!! wtf.