This is me in a nut shell. I don't know how I got into this nut shell...

Only a few weeks after Timber Jenny and I moved into our SE abode did we realize that we were not the only tenants of our room. At first, there was the scratching. Tiny reminders now and then that we were not alone. As time went by, the scratching became more frequent, accompanied by the occasional.... I don't know what you call it.... cooing? chirping? whatever.

Now we sit here in absolute certainty knowing that we are fellow tenants to 1 MILLION SQUIRRELS!

We came to this realization last weekend when Timber's mother was visiting. She had befriended a cute little squirrel on our porch which she named, Rocky. Rocky seemed wholesome and innocent, but overly friendly. He had a wheeze and I was curious as to whether he had lung complications. Upon leaving the porch and heading to the second story bathroom Cindy (Timber's mother), heard wheezing at the window..... how peculiar.. And there was Rocky again, wheezing at the window.

Well..... Rocky has pulled a full on BLITZKREIG on our house. 2 weeks ago when exploring the attic for the first time, we found nothing but nut shells. He was toying with us. We are quite sure he and his girlfriend are fornicating in our attic/bedroom walls as I write this. We hear wheezing/chirping/cooing, but much more animated than before. We hear comotion. Furthermore, as our housemate DMLH left the house, he beckoned me outside. On the very tip top point of our house wheezed/chirped/cooed Rocky, triumphantly. He has claimed his dominion. This is the squirly nut house.

Mother fucker better start payin some rent....