Shark Bait Oo Ha Ha

You are all in a lot of trouble and you don't even know it. To the best of my knowledge, I can say that at least 2 cities on the west coast are unsafe for mankind (men more specifically speaking). Those cities being Portland, OR and Santa Cruz, CA. I can tell you from experience, that vicious attacks happen almost every weekend by man eaters of the most vicious variety. The shark. You would be right to assume that the shark to be most feared and admired for it's predatory abilities is The Great White. She is flawless in her attack(most of the time). She is quick, to the point, and always wants a kiss. Many a night I have sat back from the merriment to watch the dance. A few shots of whiskey, perhaps a heated debate, and then comes the pucker and the demand. "Pawease gimme a kiss". She's got you fool. Amanda, you are a sharking legend. Keep up the good work. But remember my friend, "even great white's make mistakes".

Shark number 2, but my wingwoman, Thresher. If you are not familiar with the Thresher shark, I suggest you acquaint yourself, and quite quickly. It's the backlash of the tail that proves deadly. She is small and innocent looking, but a scorpion hell beast with eyes to kill. You may not know that you're being sharked on. In fact, it generally takes several days to several months for an attack to even become apparent. But when it does, you will either feel like you're on cloud nine or a bag of dicks. Comparable to the Great White in magnetism, watch your ass boys. She'll getcha.. (in the best way of course).

And myself, Hammerhead. Aptly named for my inclination when at the bar to get hammered and head home. In recent months, I have proven to be vegetarian in nature. I'll flirt, I'll dance, I'll tell jokes in the bathroom line, but there's a pretty good chance that I'm not interested in taking you home with me. My reasoning stems from an everlong battle with diehard/hopeful/romantic loyalty. I could be a fool or perhaps I'm not, and I am waiting for a reason. But for right now, I'm happy refraining from inviting people I find mediocre back to my house so I can sit in my room the next day grabbing my dreads hoping that I didn't fuck up some predestined course I had been working on to someday make it back to him. Nope. I am a dreamer and he is my Everest.

Thus, you have the sharks. 3 Girlfriends who have known eachother since scrunchies and tetherball were the shit. We have fun, we kick ass, and we will rip you to shreds. Sadly, Great White has left us in Portland to return to SC. Her time here was well spent, and in the near future I will confess some of the oddities and great happenings that came from her dwelling in Stumptown. Allow me to not forget to mention the other lady sharks prowlings these waters. The Mako, Angel, and Tiger shark are representing along the west coast. More to come about them as well.