Procrastination Station

Hump Day! My day of freedom in the middle of the week where I get to choose what I do and when I will do it. Today could go one of two ways. Scenario numba 1 involves me tackling the huge pile of laundry that has been patiently waiting at the foot of my bed to be put away OR Scenario numba 2 where I attempt to get things done and actually end up following my artistic pursuits and musical wanderings as I navigate around my laundry.

So far the laundry pile is slowly diminishing but it's so hard to get motivated when it takes physical force to hang things in my closet. I have way too many clothes. DAMN YOU FASHION!!!!!! I love you still... My drawers are screaming too. Do I even wear all of these pants? I don't think so.

Currently I am listening to Bon Iver's album For Emma, Forever Ago

You MUST check out this album. I'm not really one for listening to shit on repeat but I will listen to this album on repeat ANY TIME. It's that good. And it harbours a lot of summer memories for me so I guess I have a lot of emotional attachment to this one. Whatever, just listen.

Like I said, I have some artistic pursuits that are calling me. I literally wake up in the morning and this painting is in my face, scowling at me for the lack of love. I guess it's a bit reminescent of summer as well. I'm actually pretty sure the above mentioned album inspired it but I can't bring myself to finish it yet. Bottom line, I need to start painting again. Will today allow it? Perhaps if I stop bloggering.

Because some things aren't so awesome

March 27 marked the 6th year anniversary of the death of my friend Alicia Rose Davis. Alicia was a young, hilarious, and charismatic girl who left us too soon. My most fond memories of her are dominated by laughter. What to learn from Alicia's accident... Don't drive with idiots, wear a seatbelt, and hug your friends.

Rest in Peace funny girl.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. ~Charles M. Schulz

So I was busy this weekend....

Several things on the agenda today...


This weekend I attended The Foundation Breakdance Battle at Bossanova. It was siiiiick. Push Jones got to perform and were even later complimented by the judge and former contestant of America's Best Dance Crew, Do-Knock. Turns out he's a fun guy to party with as well. After having a couple drinks at the battle me, some of the Push ladies, and Do-Knock mosied up the road to The Report for the after party. My heavens.... So many breakdancing people. Twixxx of the Massive Monkey's made an appearance (also from ABDC). After several whiskey/cokes I pulled out my favorite MC Hammer dance move in front of the hip hop professionals. If you're unsure what that looks like, watch this...I am such an idiot sometimes... Day 2 of Foundation was pretty decent too with my duties including PROMOTIONS! Some people scream and run away in fear and the first mention of doing promotion work. I on the other hand love to make an ass of myself in public and talk to large groups of people so I accepted the offer with open arms. That day I was promoting workshop a with Do-Knock and Twixx at my lovely home studio Vega Dance Lab the following day. I made sure everyone who even looked close to being able to dance recieved a flyer :) I found the best strategy if people tried to give the flyers back to was to drop my arms and insist that I had none. Muhahahaha. I'm evil. And uh.. New Push Jones poster by my choreographer's husband, Joe. So cool.

I actually ended up going to that workshop and it was kick ass. When I say kick ass I mean it kicked my ass. Today I am brandishing bruises and sore muscles. Apparently Do-Knock is a beast when it comes to choreography and it turned out to be most welcome. I was pushed. It was good. FEEL THE BURN! Twixxx ended up teaching a sort of freestyle workshop on how to jump into dance circles. I feel like I've always been pretty comfortable with this. My issue is getting some new material. The hammer can only take me so far, right? By the end of the class, I was exhausted but soo happy to have gone and been able to experience the talent these two dudes have to offer, let alone their kindess. Good people. Here's a video of them both. Be impressed.

You're welcome in advance..

Because my friends have left me for spring break, I've decided to catch up on those movies that I want to see but never rent because I am either too lazy, embarrassed, or broke to do so. My picks for this week were Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, New Moon of the Twilight Saga, and This Is It about Michael Jackson's last tour. I was filled with so much commentary I figured I better share some of it with you.

First and foremost ALICE AND WONDERLAND.
My Thoughts: Lovely to look at (costumes, CGI, cast), engaging and dynamic plot, a bit short, and strange sexual tension between the Mad Hatter and Alice. This was the first movie I've ever seen in 3D and after the initial disorientation, was much appreciated for the journey into Wonderland (Underland?) I suggest going to see this movie if you have no other plans.

Next Up NEW MOON. Ugh Bleah. Gag me with a fucking spoon. This movie is even shittier than the first. Okay, yea I understand why A TON of people are into this saga. It's filmed pretty well and the folks are hot but I will say this once again, these qualities CANNOT save your whole movie. For one, I don't believe that Bella and Edward love eachother because...(exhibit A. They have shown no qualities of a healthy relationship together since the dawn of Twilight. Where is the laughing? The occasional date night? THE APPRECIATION OF BEING INDEPENDANT HUMAN BEINGS?!?!?) (exhibit B. Bella is so frickin whiney and waifish, who could love her?)(exhibit C. No chemistry what so ever. Watching them kiss is painful. It's like they're both sucking on a raw slab of beef).

More reasons why this movie sucks...... too much heavy breathing.no jokes (they're situation is ridiculous, they could really use some comedic relief every now and then). Kristen Stewart makes this face for the length of the whole movie. Lastly, the dialogue is waay to serious for me to keep a straight face. You're not fooling me, Twilight.

THIS IS IT ENCORE!!! ENCORE!!!!!!!! O wait.. Shit. That's not quite possible is it. (too soon?) This film was basically just rehearsal footage from Michael's final tour and DAMN did he have his shit together. He basically pulled together some of the most talented dancers, techs, and musicians to create a... I don't even think you could call it a show. A SPECTACULAR! Yes that's it! A SPECTACULAR!I'm talking some serious pyrotechnics. Needless to say, I'm very sad Michael has left us because he was a GENIOUS musician and artist and had some serious vision. If you have any appreciation for live performances, check this one out.... even though.. it's not really live anymore is it?

Twin Flames

I am very much intrigued by the concept of twin souls and have been so for several years now. The overall gist is that long ago as divine wholeness began to seperate for the polar universe experience, single non-gendered souls were split into yin and yang (male and female). The purpose of this was for gaining a full understanding of seperation, as one cannot fully appreciate what it has until it has experienced the opposite. Thus, long ago we made the painful decision to part with our other half and journey through many lifetimes seeking that sacred love we once parted with. If you are not a spiritual person, this concept could be considered silly or asinine. Whatever you believe, I find it to be a beautiful and romantic idea. Syncronicity has lead me to believe that such things are possible and inspire me to continue my own personal growth.

"Before one can physically unite with their Twin Soul, one must do the conscious work of healing and becoming whole within their self. Twin Soul love cannot exist in a codependent, ego-based relationship, or from a perceived "need" that the other person will make you whole. Both must often face separations while they strengthen their own connection to Spirit and find their strength and purpose on their own."

Even if you can't get into Twin Flames and Soul Mates, the artwork inspired by it can be absolutely beautiful.

Me Lucky Charms

Today is St. Patricks Day. A day that is usually one of my favorite holidays, honoring my Irish heritage. Unfortunately, I am required to drive Timber to the airport at 5 a.m. tommorow morning and also show up to work in Vancouver at 9. Damn it. They're always after me lucky charms.


Oh yea.... And last night I had a dream that all my teeth were falling out. That can't be good.....

Happy Birthday Jenna!

Attention! All mothers, lock up your sons! Fiesty Dyste has turned 21! To reign in the fruition of Jenna's hour the wolf pack (the legal sort) hit up the Bear Paw, a local Brooklyn dive. Much fun was had, Jenna was clearly hammered, and that was that. Jenna I would raise my glass to you again my dear but I have given up drinking, until next weekend.

Returning to PDX *Kicking and Screaming*

Life is cruel. Yesterday was easy to lose my sadness in a blur of whiskey and tequila starting early at 11:00 while waiting to depart from the Oakland Airport. This morning I woke to the harsh reality that I wasn't next to him and all I had was his sweatshirt lying in bed there next to me. Plus the hang over.
The ride to the airport could have been just another roadtrip. Cracking jokes and laughing hysterically at all of our ridiculousness. It hit me as he pulled my bag out of the back of his truck and kissed me goodbye. Shit. This dream is over. As I walked through security stupid little tears fell down my cheeks and I tried my best to wipe them away as quickly as they surfaced. I don't know when I'll be seeing him next. Life is cruel.
I guess from that last tidbit you can safely assume that my trip went well. It was actually fabulous. I laughed harder and smiled more than I have in a long time. We can be in the car for hours together just conversing and singing our favorite songs at the top of our lungs. All of this just reaffirming how butt fucking head over heels I am for this person. In the short time I was in California I was able to accomplish almost all that I had planned on: La Honda, Santa Cruz, Big Sur, putting my cards down on the table, visiting old friends, firming up some plans, etc. I even made it down to Morro Bay which was a pleasant suprise. Big Sur welcomed us home like a good friend as usual. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and I even got a tan(SO WELCOME!). Santa Cruz was phenomenal as well. Great White and company gave us quite a show on Friday night with Maker's Mark, lap dances, and the usual madness. Thanks to all who came out to say hi. How I've missed you all.
Here's some photographic evidence of my travels. *side note* There is no photographic evidence of Santa Cruz because 1. I wasn't able to operate a camera and 2. we could probably get arrested for posting images like that.
Flying into the bay The 1. I highly suggest driving it. Big Sur Pee Spot. Great spot on the side of the road. If you can find it, you're a lucky person. Blue Jay at the Pee Spot. I'm considering selling this photo to National Geographic... Right before I was ambushed by 50 seagulls in Morro Bay. Word to the wise.... Don't throw muffin crumbs in the air here..... sigh..... Our family stomping ground in Big Sur
And now here I am. Right where I left me.

Where is my easy button!?!?!??!

Today I was clumsy. I blame gravitational flux! It's the only credible excuse I could have for breaking two items in my client's house in a 3 hour period. My boss is unimpressed. Though she did give me the benefit of the doubt by saying that "many people have been breaking things this week." ALAS! My cop out. It's frickin earth flux maaaan. Sadly, I didn't find enough strength in this argument to text this to her, or rather, I did but didn't want to be "that crazy hippy girl" at work. Whatever, the poles are switching and I'm feeling it.

Moving on...

Tommorow I board an airplane to Oakland. Oaklandazyulasym for all you Why? fans out there. Hopefully this trip will be lovely. I'm thinking good friends, Santa Cruz, maybe some tanning (Lord knows I need it), relaxation, perhaps a little romance. I figured since I laughed out loud at this I should probably share it with you as well... I digress...
The fact of the matter is, is that I should be more excited/stoked/bouncing off the wall right now but I'm more scared than anything. I had mentioned in an earlier blog that I have been having weird feelings. Well. They're still here. The kind that makes me wonder if going to La Honda is a good idea. Santa Cruz, duh, obviously that's a good idea. But La Honda is seeming more and more a call for confrontation. Either I will be courageous and spill all the words that get caught up in my throat everytime I see him or.... I will remain silent and cowardly. Neither of which are sounding easy. And this is supposed to be my vacation DAMN IT! WHERE IS MY EASY BUTTON!?!?!?!?! Ah yes... there it is...

I was reading "All About Love" by Bell Hooks the other day- A gem from my roommate Cassie's collection- and came to ponder on the thought of loving without fear of rejection. It's sooo noble sounding! I want to be that. I'm realizing that I need to make a call very soon and I'm leaning towards getting my ass handed to me by love rather than keeping my mouth closed like a polite little lady. Say a little prayer for me tonight, will you?
All image cred- Deviantart.com

Old Folks

Every Thursday I make the trek out to Vancouver, WA to clean the mansion of some aging wealthy couple (We'll call them Mr. and Mrs. P). When first introduced to this house I was humbled by what I saw. Decades of memories, dusty ceramic figurines, and flakes of skin scattered across a very costly blue tiled floor.
It was almost scary for me to even be in this house. Medical supplies packed into closets, oxygen tanks and tubes running the length of the baseboards, grandfather clocks chiming down every last hour of life. It was hard to move without feeling like I was stuck in someone else's weird limbo of final days. Generally I still feel this way, but I've begun to appreciate, even enjoy, aspects of the time I spend in this house.

For one, I get to see a couple that has survived in the sense not being part of a growing statistic. Married after 60 years, never divorced. Coming from a background of nothing but, their love for eachother inspires me.
Two, as bad as this sounds, they could give a shit if I get that last little water spot off of their facet. At this point they're more concerned with disinfecting and vacuuming (which is A-OKAY to me).Plus Mrs. P is now blind sooo....yeaah.
Three, I'm constantly finding new rooms, closets, crawl spaces in their house so I never get bored. They have A LOT of house to explore.
Four, every time I work there I have to wipe down the bathroom ceiling with bleach to get Mr. P's tobacco tar stains out. Ever inspiring me to QUIT SMOKING! (it's pretty convincing bleah).
And five, they leave me alone. Ahhh dream clients.

In conclusion, because these clients are old, and because their caretakers are kind of old too and I hang out with them for 6 hours every week, I consider myself an honorary Golden Girl.


Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege.
-- Author Unknown

High Five Universe!

AND SUDDENLY THE COSMOS HAVE ALIGNED TO EXCITE AND EXHAUST MY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL BEING! These next 2 weeks are looking to be filled to the brim with people, places, and things all coming together to drink and be merry. I am balls to the wall stoked about the festivities to follow and also fearful for my physical wellness.
My body recently has been saying many things to me recently...

Right shoulder: "You know, I do so fucking much for you and you don't even have the decency to stretch me properly before rigorous activity. I might fall off sooner or later. Would you even care, Hammerhead?"
Right knee: "Don't think I won't dislocate for the tenth time... Dancing in boots.... Not cool"
Liver: "HEEEEEEElllLPpppPp MEEEeee!!"

BUT FUCK IT! This weekend is going to be kickass and I'm young and resiliant! We've got company coming into town, a keg at my place on friday, and a Push Jones performance for Fashionation in Hood River. All of this hopefully preparing me for the next coming weekend where I will be in LA HONDA, SANTA CRUZ, and SAN FRANCISCO(maybe SF)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's something so infinitely beautiful about tons of people you enjoy coming together in one place to celebrate. I get high on that shit. HIGH FIVE!

Tuck and Roll Grandma.

7 more days now until I will be back in the bay. Hmph. I feel like there is so much going on and yet I feel devoid of any real motivation. Today is humpday. Today is also my day off, so I should be completing the chores that have stocked up over the past few days (and by days I mean weeks). BUT low and behold, here I am wading in a pile of mismatched socks and underwear.

Woke up early this morning to ride River. We decided to stick with some arena work today seeing as though last time I got thrown off on trail. It wasn't too bad. A duck jetted out from the undergrowth and River, being a young spritely thing shit himself and freaked. I nearly stayed on but once he realized there was a strange creature now clinging to his side, he spooked more and I was thrown to the ground. Tuck and Roll Grandma! (best advice ever) I was very lucky, however, to not get kicked as he reared away. Poor guy. He just stood there afterwards waiting for me with a look on his face like "wha happend?" I got up relatively unharmed. Just some sore ribs and a bloody finger nail. Best thing to do in situations like that is get back up and start riding. As days passed a solid bruise has formed on my forearm. Lovely.

Push Jones will be having 2 performances this week (excited arms shaking in the air). I'm most excited about the one that will be happening this Saturday in Hood River after the Fashionation fashion show. We will be dancing at the after party in some club. I hear the night life in Hood River is pretty happenin though so I better wear my big girl undies for that one. That's right. I'm also casually considering sneaking in a flask of whiskey because I have a cute flask that doesn't get near enough use and because I'm cheap. Suddenly I am overwhelmed with the urge to sit at home and drink whiskey in granny panties... weird.
Aside from that La Honda is within my grasp. Having some odd feelings about that right now though. Hopefully it is a passing mood. Currently I am trying not to acknowledge them in hopes that they will go away. I'll keep you informed as anticipation builds.

And yet another digression. I have been dreaming quite vividly again recently and a lot of them usually involve work. This makes me feel strange. I spend all day working, can't I have my dreams to be able to let go and rest! Waaahnee! FML.