So Sue Me

I'm tired of hiding. I want nothing more than to utilize 2010 as a year of letting go of my insecurities and fully embracing just exactly who Goldie Hammerhead Locks is. That means first and foremost. My name is Laurel. Building upon that thought, I've decided to share some of my guilty pleasures and not so glorious quirks with you all. Things that I might not be incredibly proud of but am coming to terms with. Most of these disclosures will not increase my sex appeal. They will not make me any money. I am doing it for the pure joy of exposing my akwardness in hopes that you, dearest reader, might be able to do so as well. So here we go.

I like Britney Spears. Yea.. I fucking do. Bitch taught me how to dance. I thought the music video for I'm A Slave For You was brilliant. I want that outfit and those same people breathing heavily on me for a dance number or two. Britney. I don't give a damn if your crazy boo. You're still my homegirl. WAAAAHHHHH!!! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!

I pick my nose. All the time. Don't care if you're watching.

Sometimes I talk too fast and either stutter or slur my words. It makes me sound like an asshole but we all do it. Word Vomit! Yes that's it. I can't sound like a freeking genious all the time can I? A friend once referred to me as MC Cleverwords because, in truth, I am a simple person with simple thoughts. Trying to dress those thoughts up in lavish language just gets me all tongue tied. Damn it. I just did it again....

R&B songs are my jams!!!!!!!!! Seriously. In the past I've tried to stay away from popular music such as R&B but ever since this whole hip hop crew started I've been feeling it. I've found that dancing to music changes my whole perspective on certain songs. Yea give me that deep base beat and soulful chorus line. YEEEEAAHHH that shit's my jam! Oh yeah, gotta throw in my boy Prince too. I sing Little Red Corvette in the car all the time. I could listen to any of his albums all day every day. Probably wouldn't get much done though.. Too much dancing..That's baby making music right there...mmm He's sexual and violent.

In most cases I will not give boys in tight/girl pants the time of day. I just feel like there's a block there where we couldn't possibly be on the same level of understanding. You know... maybe I'm too daft to get it or I'm missing something.. It's just ... ehhh. Can't do it yet...AND I'm a big advocate of increasing circulation and I just feel like they're working against my cause, man (Must mention I am working towards a massage therapy license). Someday, perhaps these boys and I will see eye to eye. Until then... ehh.

Sausage weirds me out. Normal sausage, vegan sausage, veg whatevs. I can't stand it and Timber loves the shit. Bleah.

I haven't voted in I don't know how long. I am part of apathetic America! It makes me sad but at the same time... would it even matter? Can the lead singer of UB40 run for president? Then maybe I'll vote. Other than that.. PUPPETS! Masses of puppets. They chore me out and I have more important things to do like..... well.. I'll get back to you on that one..

That's all for now. I'm sleepy. Goodnight.